


While You Were Icing the Shit Cake

by The Little MerBucky (blue_pointer)



Series: The Salariman [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Artist Steve Rogers, Asexual Steve Rogers, Birthday, Birthday Party, Birthday Sex, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Break Up, Bucky's 100th Birthday, Central Park, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Exes, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Iron Soldier, Iron Winter, M/M, Movie Night, New York City, Podfic Welcome, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stucky - Freeform, Super Gay Tony Stark, Texting, Voicemail, War Veteran Steve Rogers, buckyxtony, salariman, winteriron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 05:01:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10210142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/The%20Little%20MerBucky
Summary: In an alternate universe where Tony is Bucky's boss and Steve is a sweet war vet Bucky met on grindr, he's kind of torn between the two of them. It's Bucky's birthday, and both of his boys want to spend it with him. But first, his ex calls to wish him many unhappy returns.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The other 100th birthday fic I started for Bucky got really angsty, so I'm posting this one up instead.  
> This story takes place a few weeks after Mistext.

“Hey.” Just the sound of that familiar voice was enough to break his heart. “Just wanted to call and say Happy Birthday. The girls tell me you asked to spend this one on your own, so...hope it’s a good one.” There was an awkward silence as she decided on an appropriate sign-off for an ex on her ex’s first birthday without her in almost a decade. “I haven’t heard from you...hope you’re doing okay. I really do. Happy Birthday, honey.” He winced at the endearment, and could hear the wince in her voice as she realized. It wasn’t easy to do away with a pet name you’d used to refer to someone for so long. “Damn. Call me if you want.”

Maybe he should have felt somehow vindicated that she'd made the mistake. Something. But it still hurt too much to hear it come out of her mouth. Ending the call with her famous ‘call me if you want,’ line was the icing on the shit cake she’d left him. What was so happy about birthdays?

“Call me if you want,” she’d told him, pushing the ring back into his hand. The implication being that she knew he wouldn’t be okay without her, that cutting him off all together would be cruel, maybe even prompt self-harm. But she’d done it anyway, and then made herself tantalizingly available for when he couldn’t do it alone, forcing him to admit that he wasn’t okay without her, maybe never would be. But she had obviously been okay without him.

Bucky tugged his running shirt on, grabbed his phone, tucked his earbuds in. There was nothing like running through Central Park to get your blood pumping. March in New York was spring, but it was never warm. Passing Glade Arch, he heard a set of familiar heavy footfalls, and smiled a little. Steve didn’t always run when he ran, but he’d gotten into the habit of keeping Bucky’s exercise schedule lately. Just in case they bumped into one another. It was good for him--got Steve up and off the couch more often, which was good for his depression. And it was good for Bucky, because it proved someone cared enough to work to see him. Which was sweet.

“Morning, gentlemen,” Bucky greeted his new relationship experiment, along with the service dog who never left Steve’s side. Fubar was on the job. He let his tongue loll to show he’d heard Bucky, but otherwise didn’t acknowledge him.

“Mornin’.” Steve’s smile could light up any room. Too bad it appeared so seldom these days. “Around the reservoir?”

“Like usual,” Bucky smiled back. He’d never had trouble keeping up. Sometimes Bucky theorized that Steve was actually going easy on him, matching his faster pace to Bucky’s slower one. But if so, he never let on. 

At the end of their run, they paused at an empty bench, Steve toweling off some of the sweat that was running down his fair skin, Bucky stretching, trying to warm down. “So.” Steve didn’t talk that much. It was eerie until you got used to it. “After work tonight, right?”

“If you still want me.” Steve gave him an inscrutable look. It had been a dumb thing to say, Bucky realized in hindsight. Like he was testing their new relationship. A total dick move. He blamed how emotionally raw Nat's voicemail had left him feeling. 

"Yeah." Steve'a smile was slow in coming, a little shy, but it finally made it. 

They’d agreed long before Steve had known today was Bucky’s birthday. It was their usual Friday night. Pizza and brews with rom coms. Sometimes a boxing or a wrestling match after, depending what was on pay per view that week. “See you then.” Bucky extended one hand for a secret handshake hi-five. Steve grabbed him and pulled him in for a bro-hug at the last minute.

“Don’t leave without sayin’ goodbye to the captain. He sulked all day the last time you forgot.”

Bucky squatted down to scratch Fubar’s chest, dig fingers into his shaggy coat. “Sorry, pal,” Bucky told him. “You’re always so businesslike when we're in public, I forget you're just a big softy.”

Fubar licked his face for his trouble, offering Bucky an open-mouthed grin. “Alright, alright. I’ll see you both later.”

“Later,” Steve called.

 

*

 

Tony hadn’t been kidding about his penchant for lavishing expensive gifts on his fuckbuddies. There was a party waiting for Bucky when he got to the office, complete with multiple cakes, streamers, banners, party hats. There were baristas on site to make any drink you might like to start your day off right, including mimosas.

And that was just breakfast. For lunch, Tony imported the team of sushi chefs from Nobu to slice to order for everyone--but mostly for Bucky, as sushi was his favorite. Tony had learned that much between fuck sessions. It was weird, though. Super weird, and made Bucky feel hellishly embarrassed.

“Man, this company really knows how to do office birthday parties!” the new guy exclaimed.

“My birthday was last week, and all I got was a card signed by three people in my department,” Todd from accounting whined.

Tony was suspiciously absent from all of this activity. Which was a good thing when the strippers showed up after lunch. Bucky sent them home. That was not the kind of office party he wanted to be a part of. It made him unpopular with the rest of the guys at the office, but he saw looks of relief from most of his female coworkers. Not that there were many women engineers in the market even nowadays.

When he got back to his desk, there was a professionally-wrapped gift waiting for him, along with a card that read ‘3 o’clock, just like always.’ Bucky opened the gift in the elevator on the way to the executive lounge. It was a watch. No doubt a ridiculously expensive one--Bucky wasn’t familiar with all of the high-end brands. “Jesus Christ, Tony,” he murmured. How did you casually start wearing a 20 thousand dollar watch?

The door to the lounge was locked--it was always locked. Bucky had his own key now. He let himself in to find Tony waiting for him on a chaise, stark nude but for a ribbon and bow draped across his man-parts. “Why didn’t you go full Cupid and wear a diaper?” Bucky teased, locking the door behind him.

“Because that’s way less sexy to rip off me?” Tony offered. He was holding a bowl of freshly-whipped cream in one hand and another of freshly-melted chocolate in the other. “In case you’re still peckish,” he told Bucky with a sexy smirk.

“Are you into either of those right now?” Bucky asked him.

Tony considered. “Sexually?" He shrugged. "I could eat." But from the way his eyes were twinkling when they looked at him, Bucky had a feeling it wasn't food he was in the mood for. "Still, this whipped cream does look amazing.”

“Hold that thought,” Bucky told him. He left, going back downstairs to order one of Tony’s signature dead eye coffees. He had them leave room for cream and lots of sugar, added them the way he knew Tony liked, and went back upstairs.

“You know, if it weren’t your birthday, I’d call you a fucking asshole,” Tony said, still on the longue where he’d left him, starting to shiver.

“Quit your yappin’,” Bucky told him, walking over and grabbing a handful of whipped cream from the bowl, slopping it on top of Tony’s coffee. “Drink this, and then tell me what you wanna call me.”

Caffeine was a necessary part of the boss’ 3pm pick-me-up. It usually followed their hard and fast bathroom sex, but Bucky didn’t see why they couldn’t change it up today. Besides, he wasn’t much in the mood for fucking. He’d been having a hard time getting Nat’s voicemail out of his head. He sat down next to Tony, carefully tucking the happy birthday ribbon out of the way. Tony just watched him.

“Why so blue, Buckaroo?” Tony asked. “If you’re not happy with any of your presents, I can get you different. In fact. Here.” He bent down to retrieve his carefully-folded pants from under the longue. Took out his wallet, handed Bucky an AmEx black. “I’ve been meaning to give you one of your own. Go ahead. Buy whatever you want. It’s on me.”

Bucky just stared at the card. “Tony, I don’t want this.” The more extravagant Tony’s gifts became, the more he felt like a trophy boy. Which was obscene, given he was actually older than Tony, and was not about to give up his day job.

“What are you talking about?” Tony asked. “Everybody likes money.”

“It’s just not what I want.” Bucky handed it back to Tony, adding, “Thanks, though. Really. You’re too generous, Tony.”

“Well, that’s true,” Tony nodded humbly, tossing the credit card over his shoulder carelessly. “But tell me more about you, sweetcheeks.” He leaned toward Bucky, forcing him to lie down on the chaise with Tony tucked against him. “What is it that you want for your birthday? Is it something I can give you?”

Wow, that was a charged question. They’d gotten a little closer in the month and change they’d been meeting to fuck at work, but Bucky still couldn’t tell if there was any sort of relationship possible with Tony in the future. He certainly didn’t seem interested in one, and that kind of blew any thoughts Bucky might have of putting effort toward it. He shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t know.”

“She called, huh?” Tony guessed. He was pretty damn smart, even though he still seemed to be getting used to the foreign concept that other people had feelings. 

“Yeah.” Bucky sighed, needing a cigarette.

“Poor Bucky bear,” Tony cooed. “Why don’t you roll over and we’ll practice some memory loss therapy?”

Bucky sighed. He couldn’t really object to Tony’s offer of working on him with his mouth. Tony was too good to say no to. He quickly dropped his pants and moved into position. Tony set down his drink to lick his way, teasingly, up the back of Bucky’s thigh. He left Bucky’s shorts on at first, but before too long, Bucky was ripping them off himself, the better to feel that wicked tongue on bare skin.

Tony’s lips and tongue were followed by slick fingers and then something cold and hard. “What the--”

“Now, now,” Tony scolded him. “No fair peeking.” Bucky really should have known what it was before the thing started vibrating.

“Holy fuck.”

“Not just yet,” Tony smirked. “Turn around, Bright Eyes.”

“You’re sick.” But Tony clearly thought he was hilarious. “Turn it down a little?”

“Sure thing, birthday boy.” Tony leaned in for a teasing kiss.

“Hnng... Better.”

“Okay, sweetheart. Why don’t you spread those muscular thighs of betrayal? I haven’t had lunch yet, and I’m starving.”

“So nasty,” Bucky purred, running his fingers through Tony’s hair as he swallowed him. Tony flashed him the ‘perfect’ sign. He was far too busy choking on Bucky’s dick to talk.

That was an interesting 3 o’clock break. Bucky came three times. In succession. Maybe there was something to this whole toy thing after all.

After, he lay on the chaise, hair sweaty and tangled beneath him, skin starting to feel chill, heart still beating fast. “Just relax, cupcake,” Tony told him, grabbing an honest-to-god ermine throw and pulling it up over Bucky’s shoulders. “Your boss has excused you from work for the rest of the day.”

“Really?” Bucky was not too tired to ask. “Paid?”

“Paid,” Tony smirked. “Don’t worry, it’s a special clause I had the lawyers work into your contract. At my discretion, I can give you paid leave for festive occasions.”

“Why does that sound like something I’ll have to earn?” Bucky asked suspiciously.

Tony smirked. “You know me so well.” He slid one hand down to cup Bucky’s ass. “But I’d say you earned it today, slugger. I told you I hadn’t had lunch yet, and you did come three times for me.”

Bucky looked concerned. “Tony, was it really a good idea for you to swallow all three times? I mean, I’d hate to have to take you to the hospital to have your stomach pumped.”

“What?” Tony did not look concerned. “I haven’t had to do anything like that since our circle jerk parties at the frat house in college.”

 _Jesus._ Bucky could picture it. Why did all of Tony’s youthful memories sound like pornos he would not just rent, but own? “You big cum-guzzler,” he purred, pulling Tony in for a kiss.

“Mmhmm.” Tony wriggled against him from the skin side of the ermine throw. “Nap time?”

“Well I don’t mind,” Bucky told him. “But don’t you have to come for nap time?” Tony gave him a sly look. “Okay, okay.”

He turned, pulled Tony in to spoon against him, and reached for his dick. It wasn’t as big as Bucky’s, but it was thick, and eager, and Bucky liked the way it felt in his hand. He took his time, stroking Tony’s inner thighs and cupping his balls before grabbing the astroglide and taking him firmly in hand. By the time Tony was ready to pop, he was writhing against Bucky, making him hard again.

He tossed off the throw and spread him, nudging just the tip of his cock into Tony’s ass before finishing him off. “No fair,” Tony whined. “You didn’t fill me.”

“Didn’t have to,” Bucky pointed out. “You came with just my hand.” But he could see Tony was ready to throw one of his famous temper tantrums. “Alright, alright. Come here.”

Tony snuggled back, and he nudged his way in until he was fully-seated. “Yeah.” Tony arched his back against him. “Want you. Inside me. Need.”

“I am inside you, baby,” Bucky told him, kissing his jaw. “Better?”

“Mmmmm…” It wasn’t long before Tony was fast asleep. Which was a little weird, but then so was Tony. If he’d already gotten his, putting a dick up his ass resulted in Tony falling fast asleep 5 times out of 10. Well, he needed the sleep.

Bucky held him and let him rest until the lights of the city beyond the window came up, showing it was finally dark out. Then he carried Tony to the shower to clean up.

 

*

 

Tonight they were watching _While You Were Sleeping_ , because they both agreed on Sandra Bullock, and _Ten Things I Hate About You_ , because Bucky was still trying to sell Steve on Shakespeare.

And, sure, rom coms were probably an odd thing for two guys on a sort of night-in date to be watching together, until you considered that one of them suffered badly enough from PTSD to require a service dog, and the other had three sisters. Watching mushy shit helped Steve reconnect emotionally with things, and Bucky had given up on pretending to be the toxic masculine revenger the second he’d realised in high school that girly boys got way more pussy than the tough guys, who’d had to date-rape it out of most of the girls they bragged about in the locker room.

One of the best things about hanging out at Steve’s was Fubar. Bucky had decided early on that there was nothing wrong with borrowing another guy’s service dog, especially if it helped you feel better about life, too. Fubar had gotten Bucky through the last two months of breakup blues just as surely as Tony’s daily Swiss-timed fucks in the office, and these weekly cuddle-fests with Steve.

Maybe Steve hadn’t been as big a hit with most of his grindr fans in person as his abs had been in his profile, but Bucky didn’t mind dating the king of hugs. He got all the sex he needed from his boss, so it was kind of nice to come over to Steve’s for all the other physical contact Tony wouldn’t give him.

He was just considering the precise body heat necessary to provide the best cuddle when Steve paused playback. “Pee break,” he announced, slowly digging himself out from underneath both platonic boyfriend and service dog. Fubar grumbled his protest, creeping up Bucky’s legs to trap him where he was on the couch.

“C’mere, Buddy. Come on up here.” Fubar rarely needed more encouragement than that to climb up on Bucky’s chest and become the world’s best paperweight. His dog breath wasn’t even that bad, because Steve fed him a special diet of table scraps.

Steve was back before he could start to drowse, pressing a fresh beer into Bucky’s hand, and waiting for him to look up. Steve was standing by the side of the couch, hesitating. “I know this is probably weird. We haven’t really been seein’ each other that long, but. Well, Facebook reminded me it was your birthday today…”

Bucky smiled, tired. “Honest, Steve, you really didn’t have to.”

“I know,” he butted in. “But I wanted to.” He moved aside, somehow producing a 4x5 canvas painting from behind his back. Bucky could tell Steve had done it himself. The blurred edges showed his specific modern impressionism style of watercolor, and the colours were his standard sepia tones. One day he was going to have to get Steve a pair of those colorblindness-correcting glasses. Not because Bucky objected to the colors Steve painted in, but because every time he saw one of Steve’s paintings, it broke his heart that he couldn’t see the full spectrum of color.

“What do you think?” Steve asked, dancing nervously in place, proving to Bucky that he’d waited too long to comment. “It’s the view from the observation deck, where we first met.”

“You really thought I was gonna be some kind of psycho,” Bucky chuckled.

“Hey. I told you about the first 20 guys I agreed to meet on that damn app.”

Bucky smiled, looking at the Manhattan skyline as painted by Steve. “I love it.”

“It’s okay if you don’t like it,” Steve said.

“I love it, Stevie.” Bucky stood up to embrace him. He could feel the relief in Steve’s body. He really hadn’t been sure Bucky would like it. “Why don’t you come over to my place next Friday and you can help me decide where to hang it?”

“Wow.” Steve had clearly not expected this. “Really? You mean I finally get to see your apartment?”

Bucky laughed. “Sure. But I’m warning you, it’s not that interesting, and your place is way more homey.”

Steve wrinkled his nose. “That’s just a fancy way of sayin’ it’s messy.”

“Is not,” Bucky said. “You gonna finish off that last slice of olive and mushroom?”

“Nah. You can have it.” He plopped back down on the couch and reached up to grab Bucky’s wrist and pull him down into his lap. Steve tugged him close, nuzzling and holding him for a minute. Bucky didn’t mind. Steve hugs were pretty great, even when they went on for extended periods without any words being spoken. “Thanks for bein’ my friend, Buck,” he said at last.

“You don’t gotta thank me for that, Steve,” Bucky assured him.

“Okay, well. Thanks for spendin’ your birthday with me.”

“It’s a pretty good way to spend a birthday,” Bucky smiled.

After finishing the first movie, they polished off the next along with a whale-shaped ice cream cake, which Bucky had requested when Steve had asked what kind he wanted, only partly as a joke. And as they lay on the couch in each other’s arms, drowsing with full bellies, as was their habit on movie night, Bucky realized. He hadn’t thought about Nat for hours.

“Thanks, Stevie.”

“For what?” came the drowsy response.

“Just...thanks.”

“Anytime, pal.”

When he got up to use the bathroom at 3am, he turned his phone back on to ten messages from Tony, each one more racy than the next. The second to last was just video of him jerking off to a slide show of all the dirty snapchats Bucky had sent him, with a running commentary on why he liked which ones how much. He did finally come, amidst all the rambling, but the very next message was a text telling Bucky he couldn’t sleep.

So he said goodbye to Steve and Fubar and headed over to the west side. From the looks of things, Tony hadn’t moved much since the video message. “What the hell’s wrong with you?” Bucky asked unceremoniously, having been buzzed in.

“I didn’t get my prescribed amount of dick today.”

“You did, too.” But Bucky was already peeling out of his coat, handing it to one of the robots that scuttled around Tony’s penthouse in the creepiest way.

“Please?” Tony pouted, doing a thing with his eyes that Bucky would not have believed possible except from a cartoon character.

“Alright, alright, hold your horses.”

“It’s not my horses need holding,” Tony continued to pout. Bucky only made him wait a little longer before he crawled onto the reclining couch with him and pulled Tony’s knees over his shoulders. “Ohh, that’s better,” Tony moaned.

“Do you really expect me to believe that you need me to slip you some dick or you can’t sleep at night?”

“You really think I would make something like that up?”

“Yes.”

“Well, tough. I didn’t make it up.” He shifted his hips. “Oo, sugar, too slow.” Bucky fucked him until the back of the couch banged against the wall. “Better,” Tony sighed. But he wasn’t fully satisfied until Bucky plowed him full-tilt, and Tony came all over the new t-shirt Bucky’s baby sister had just given him for his birthday.

“Jesus, Tony.”

“Leave message,” Tony slurred, eyes already starting to drift shut.

“Some date you are,” Bucky grumbled, having known it would end like this before he’d gotten in the cab to come here.

Tony reached for him like a blind man, his eyes already shut in sleep. “Hold. Hold me.”  Bucky did, thinking about how deceptively sweet Tony’s face looked when it was relaxed in sleep. “Birthday,” Tony mumbled.

“Thanks, honey,” Bucky told him, stroking Tony’s hair back from his face.

“Stay.” He snuggled against Bucky’s shoulder.

“Sure, I’ll stay.”

“But don’t think this means anything,” Tony warned, eyes suddenly open again.

Bucky laughed, tucking Tony back against him. “Just sleep.” He kissed his brow. It was hard to believe Tony’s assertions that this wasn’t a real relationship when he was curled in Bucky’s arms like a small child.

Before he could fall asleep, Bucky’s phone went off again.

_Miss you._

Steve, of course.

_Brunch after run tomorrow? My treat._

It was good when Steve asked him out. There was social anxiety to him going anywhere. Even walking to the corner store for more deodorant was a small victory.

 _Sure._   

It didn’t exactly feel like cheating to be lying in bed with Tony while he was texting Steve, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable, either. In the abstract, they both knew about one another--Tony that Bucky had a sweet hunk across town to take care of his emotional needs, Steve that Bucky was hardcore boning a coworker, to the point that he didn’t mind Steve’s shyness of sexual intimacy at all. But he couldn’t help but postulate neither of them would be as okay as they currently were if they ever met. Or even saw pictures of one another--though Bucky had shown Tony Steve’s grindr profile.

And then it occurred to him, precarious as their arrangement was, Bucky had gone from being single and a heartbroken wreck of a human being to having two separate people who cared about him--without even being related to him--and who did a good job of filling his days.

Bucky silently thanked the universe. Since Nat had left him, he’d dreaded this first birthday alone. And look how things had turned out.

His phone went off again. It was his eldest sister.

_So how were they? Did you choose yet?_

Kate was convinced he needed to choose one of his beaus over the other, or it would all end in disaster.

 _Gurl don’t even start,_ he sent back.

_LOL. Happy Bday, Pretty._

And it had been, Bucky realized. It really had been. He called his voicemail box and deleted Nat’s message from this morning. It felt like a step in the right direction. Then he curled up around Tony and went to sleep.


End file.
